Ribbit motherfucker, ribbit!

There’s nothing going on in the Megaverse at the moment; well, except for Carlos Tevez’s most recent act of petulance and the Euro going to shit, but that’s well covered elsewhere. So, here’s a quick round up of potentially cool stuff the Man has created to keep us wilfully obedient and feeble-minded in the coming months. Because fun and entertainment are far better than the reality of it all, right?

Black Dynamite

You may have missed the Black Dynamite flick that was released last year. A blaxsplotation movie in a similar vein to I’m Going Git You Sucka! (hmm, no you probably haven’t heard of, yet seen that either) but a little dafter, funnier and featuring much more Kung-Fu. It stars Michael Jai- White (the poor bastard who played Spawn in what remains the worst comic book/graphic novel adaptation to the big screen yet) as eponymous hero Black Dynamite who has shed loads of fun chewing up the scenery, being heroic and kicking arse whilst attempting to prevent The Man’s diabolical plan to emasculate all brothers by having them suffer from Little Richard (think about it).  Can you dig it?

Anyway, the flick was a laugh riot and someone with damn good sense decided that the concept was sly enough to produce an animated series of Black Dynamite’s further adventures. The pilot has been picked up and the full animated series of Black Dynamite will be shown sometime from April next year onwards. For now, the unscreened ten minute pilot can be found on the adult swim website and gives a taster of what gives; a pastiche of the muppet show with Kermit going rogue and pimping out all the children. It may sound bonkers, but it is damn funny. Watch and enjoy the ribbiting mofo try and get one up on Black Dynamite here… 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eswYTvISFHo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_yz_pwuAp8

The Raid

At the advent of the VHS revolution, my old man ensured he got a video club card for the local video store (Capricorn Video, RIP) so that every weekend he would rent a couple of flicks to keep me and my brother entertained. You would think this was a great opportunity to use film to enhance our understanding of our own mortality and place in the universe. No. It was the perfect breeding ground to watch daft action movies. Anything with ninjas or Jean Claude Van Damme rocked, Commando was the essence of the perfect film, all else was just pretentious wank, especially if it was in black or white. Subtitles were fine, otherwise how else would we get to enjoy the sheer awesomeness of Hard Boiled and The Killer! It’s an upbringing that means the following trailer for an Indonesian flick, directed by a Welshman, titled The Raid just leaves me creaming in my jeans. Watch, and tell me you’re not salivating at how spectacular it looks as well…

Now, don’t give me any of this bollocks about “what do Indonesian’s know about action movies”. You could probably have said the same about Thailand before Ong-Bak was released in 2004. And Ong-Bak is amazing. This is why The Raid will be amazing. No release date in the UK as yet though (sniff)…

Batman: Arkham City

The follow up to easily the best game of 2008, yet despite this it’s being advertised to death. Seriously, if there’s one game this year that doesn’t need any kind of advertising it would be the sequel to Arkham Asylum. Everyone will buy the game anyway, even if it does turn out to be a complete turd. Luckily, the current trailers (of which there are many) suggest that developers Rocksteady have kept to an if it isn’t broken don’t fix it approach, which means it should be more of the same but with minor differences. The perfect design for a sequel in other words. So what we get are a few new combat moves, the action taken to a less enclosed space beyond the Asylum and shitloads more of Bats’ most fearsome enemies making a proper appearance. So long as they haven’t bodged up the fantastic free-flow combat system, everything should be as before. My only worry is the balance between giving each villain enough screen-time. This was superbly managed in the original, but I really hope they haven’t over done it this time round to appease the fanboys at the expense of gameplay. We’ll find out soon enough as Arkham City is released on the 21 October.